Christmas 2021

What did I do for Christmas 2021?

I:

1. Woke up feeling fine and that I was fine with it being like just another day
2. Had instant noodles for breakfast
3. Scrolled on social media watching Youtube and tiktoks in my room by myself, seeing everyone else’s stories of their presents
4. Didn’t get any presents, like most years of my life. My parents never gave presents
5. Went to my parent’s house at around 4:30pm since I was getting bored and I could feel the pity from others and also that other people were probably feeling sorry for me
6. Had a nicer than average but not spectacular dinner
7. Went home

​​I honestly don’t really rate Christmas. I have now been involved with Christmas for my job for a third year, and I really don’t understand why children automatically get presents on the 25th and don’t even need to truly behave to get them. I also don’t understand why adults keep up the pretence of Santa – surely it would be better for kids to know that it’s their parent’s hard earned money that gave them their gifts? I sound like a Grinch, but I feel like you could do Santa even if your kids know he’s not real.

But what really gets me is how people makes it sound so sad if you’re alone on Christmas.

“Did you hear? He’s spending Christmas alone. That’s so sad. It makes me feel bad for him,” my coworker said last month about an old man who constantly talked down to us. Uhhh…. He can go get fudged, that didn’t make me feel sorry for him at all.

Why is not having a family and food filled day on this particular day such a thing of pity?? I am close to my family. We have our feasts and presents. But since my parents and family won’t shower me in gifts and I won’t spend the whole entire day with them on the 25th December, I’m like a sad little orphan. 

Hey! I don’t need presents. I’ve never had Christmas presents. I’d rather my parents have paid their bills when we were younger than spend all their money on Christmas gifts but then go on the brink the next month. I don’t WANT to spend the whole day with them – why tf would I want to?? I could hang out with them any day of the year, and I’m seeing them for dinner anyway.

And yet it’s like the ultimate pity – nothing like “help me make my kid’s Christmas special” to invoke people to feel bad and want to help, saying things like “that’s not the Christmas spirit” “I’m not doing anything for Christmas” or how charities say “these kids won’t get presents this year” to make Kiwis swoon with sympathy.

I woke up feeling pretty normal. I was quite fine just doing things I wanted to do. Instant noodles are yum. I like relaxing. 

But the thought that everyone who was interacting with me, or knew what I was getting up to would feel sorry for me started to get me feeling down.

I actually wanted to go to the beach, but I felt like people who would be there would be like “poor girl all by herself on Xmas Day”. Anyone that I spoke to kept asking me what I was up to that day had a little silence after I said “not much, but dinner at my parents house later”, and then asked why Xmas was not a big deal. I can feel the awkwardness when people ask me what I got for Christmas and I say nothing. And we all know what Instagram stories are for – “look how well my day is going, look at my happy family, look at all the presents I got”.

I’m not going without anything, and yet I felt like people would be feeling sorry for me for spending the majority of Xmas Day ALONE. I guess it’s the ultimate Western world’s holiday – all the romantic movies about Xmas. Getting all the family together for Xmas. Spoiling your kids because seeing them lose their minds over toys is entertaining (my parents missed that memo) and eating the ultimate Western dinner – a roast or BBQ. You’ve got love, family, food, presents, anyone who doesn’t showcase that on THIS particular day is the saddest human being around.

I was having a fine time and I wished the people around me who asked, and Western culture in general just chilled tf out about Christmas expectations. It’s literally just a day. It’s not sad if someone has a meal alone, or a child doesn’t get a gift. They are fine.

I wish it was a faux pas to actually ask kids what they got for Xmas, or for kids to know it was rude to ask each other because that would solve it if you want them not to feel left out or compare what they got. Talking about salary is tacky but kids comparing how much disposable income their parents have to spend on toys they don’t need is somehow not.

Stop feeling sorry for them like they have something to be ashamed or sad about. I don’t feel sorry for an old man eating ham all alone, because I was eating instant noodles all alone and I was actually fine, thanks for asking. Fuck the pity, really. 

P.S. I am not against presents. You may give them to me every day of the year and not just reserved for my birthday and Xmas 🙂