You know how in movies the single female always turns to self help books and woo woo stuff as they turn 30 and they don’t have a man, and the whole audience is supposed to mock her?
She normally goes to a book store, finds some self-help books that the shop worker raises an eyebrow at and judges and we’re supposed to laugh? Then she goes home, takes a bath and reads them with a glass of red wine and her cat. Oh my god, a single cat lady. Oh my god, at rock bottom.
Guess what. The books have rebranded to prettier covers and that movie is now my life except there is very little romance happening in the most boring rom-com ever called ‘Esther’s life’ where I got an infection from the last bath I took and I am on my adoption journey of trying to find my first born cat.
I would’ve NEVER thought that when I developed raging and persistent indigestion and heart burn I would poo poo all medical professionals and naturopaths and go straight into the arms of reiki, which I didn’t know what it was.
My friend had gotten reiki for her back and had great things to say about them discovering an old injury and telling more of a story with her body. And because I am a SUCKER for symbolism and finding out what my stomach represents in my life, I was really interested in trying it out.
What is reiki?
Uh… energy transferring healing jiggly session. I think the purpose is to heal you through energy transfers and releasing stress in different parts of your body. I thought it meant a massage. It is more like someone moving their hands on your body and jiggling your limbs.
The official definition:
Reiki is an energy healing technique in which a Reiki master (who has undergone formal training in this healing art) uses gentle hand movements with the intention to guide the flow of healthy energy (what’s known in Reiki as life force energy) through the client’s body to reduce stress and promote healing. Reiki is a form of complementary and alternative medicine; there’s evidence it can reduce daily stress and help with management of some chronic diseases.
I also just found out it’s Japanese through finding that article.
What did it feel like?
It honestly was someone putting their hands on my parts of my body like shoulders, head, stomach, and jiggling them while I lay down.
The reiki healer I went to was recommended by my friend’s sister, and she asked me what I wanted to get from the session in the beginning.
I told her I was super stressed from an event at work and although I was not mentally stressed, I felt physically stressed and got wicked indigestion and heart burn. She told me that it normally meant something else is happening in the background that is stressing me out.
So then I broke out the main storyline of my rom com, this blog and my life, that I felt forever alone and all my friends were getting coupled up and engaged.
She then offered to do something that wasn’t classic reiki but a combination of reiki, therapy and probably hypnosis (??? Not sure) and I was like of course!
So for me, while she was doing all this jiggling, she was asking me pointed questions and getting me to imagine things and talk about stuff. So I was BAWLING my eyes out while she softly patted and jiggled me (lol).
Was it awkward?
Honestly, if I wasn’t crying my eyes out I think it might’ve been more awkward but I was quite distracted. I don’t know what I would be doing if I wasn’t crying and talking – just lying there in silence?? Not sure.
What I found interesting and different from a therapist is that she told me to think of someone that I didn’t like and how they still got good things. To realise that people who I thought were extremely annoying managed to get into relatonships, so it’s not about being perfect.
She really wanted me to believe that I didn’t need to be 100% healed to be worthy of love. That I don’t need to be the skinniest, prettiest, most interesting person in the room. I can just be me, and all the things that my self-critic says about me, and still be worthy.
She was really knowledgeable of the self-critic voice. When she got me to say what I was good at in my job, she was like ‘you rushed over that very quickly’. She seemed to know that for every person that I found annoying that got a boyfriend, I saw that it meant something was wrong with me for not being as attractive. I am constantly thinking that, and she was really good in catching it and saying ‘you’re thinking about all the reasons why you don’t believe it.’
It really did change my thinking though – good things happen to annoying people all the time, despite them being annoying af. It’s not about being perfect but being me.
I also found it sweet that she was touching my head and jiggling my shoulders while I was having a huge cry and 100% getting my tears on her hands. These healthcare worker/healers man, definitely a beacon of body acceptance and not my calling! I think I would be grossed out if a stranger’s tears got on my hands.
How much does it cost?
It cost me $120. I was very sceptical if it would work, because jiggling physically doesn’t feel like anything afterwards – I came out of it feeling the same as if I had a huge cry (which I had) – less stressed, but not like all my worries had left.
It honestly felt the same as if I had sat on her couch and cried the whole time instead. It was like a little therapy session.
Does it work?
To my huge, huge surprise – I have not gotten heart burn or indigestion since!!!!
Before this reiki session, I was getting heart burn and indigestion daily for the last 1 and a half years. I would wake up in the middle of the night with acid in my throat. I couldn’t drink coffee or eat anything slightly acidic, including tomatoes, because it would make me nauseous. I went nowhere without my Digestive FX. It was becoming a personality trait. And now afterwards, no matter what spicy, caffeinated, deep fried bullshit I put in my mouth – no indigestion!!!!
She told me it was because I held my unsafety in my stomach – and I really liked that she used the word ‘unsafety’. I don’t feel anxious or stressed: I would agree that I /feel/ unsafe. I feel unsafe to be me in front of boys (as you know), when everyone around me is coupling up, when I hit milestones in my life that I didn’t want to do alone, when I think about what 15, 18, 20, 25 year old me wanted for my life. Also, I spent a lot of time at the end of 2022 and beginning of 2023 also feeling physically unsafe after being burgled. In fact, at this time of writing, I have eaten the buldak spicy noodles 3 times this week and I have not had indigestion (unheard of!!!!).
Then she got really woowoo when I asked her how to maintain it – apparently my chakras weren’t aligned and I need to align them by breathing deeply into my stomach and heart. The stomach apparently represents identity and the statement ‘I am…’. She told me about how the Buddha is fat because he has a lot in his stomach and his chakras are aligned, and it’s the centre of the body. I did not tell her that fat buddha is not buddha but the Chinese Budai who loves eating and represents prosperity/abundance which is why Chinese people love to pray to him for money lol. REAL Buddha and monks are skinny because they are vegetarians who fast and mostly eat donations ahaha.
But yes – I cannot believe that all I needed was some jiggling and energy healing to cure my indigestion. Not holistic supplements. Not a diet change. Not antacids. But reiki and a cry. That I was getting indigestion not because of my aggressive stomach acid, but because of my inner demon of never being good enough to be in a relationship that was fucking up my stomach even when I wasn’t actively thinking about it.
I know for some it’s *only* been 3 weeks but for me it’s *already* been three weeks, where I’ve thrashed fish n chips, Chinese takeaways, coffee and spicy noodles and haven’t popped a single Gaviscon which I used to eat like lollies throughout the day!!! Amazing!!!!!!!