Like a lot of Gen Z and millennials, I am absolutely addicted to social media. Oh yes, it makes me impulse buy things, compare myself to my friends and give me an in-depth knowledge of the conspiracy theory that the Hillsong Church arranged the marriage […]
I think if this is the blogpost to make you hate me, this might be it. If you have a great relationship with your dad, this is going to be the one that makes you think I’m ungrateful little bitch – or this could be […]
“Esther, you’ve just listed things that you haven’t done well,” someone tells me at work. “I feel like you’re criticising yourself.” Soaring crashing music. A montage of scenes of me interacting with people flash before your eyes. It’s the time of the movie where the […]
I had never realised that my mother was obsessed with the worry that I was going to be raped. After unexpectedly bursting into tears the week before, today we were going to do a deep dive into my mum, since so many of my negative […]
I’ve been trying to separate the ‘inner critic’ that’s telling me I’m uninteresting and not pretty from my own thoughts this week. My therapist (MT) tells me that I can’t keep thinking of it as true or as myself / my own voice, but as […]
I felt a bit of imposter syndrome when I went to my first therapy session. Like I’m not that fucked up at the moment. Also, because time had passed since the break-in, I wasn’t even feeling that vulnerable about it anymore. Although to be honest, […]
For years this question has haunted me, has been one of my deepest insecurities and is always on my mind: how do I get a boyfriend?
I’ve always been in a ‘I don’t want to settle’ type of mentality for a relationship. I want to look at my partner and feel really lucky to have them. Because if I didn’t feel like I had landed a catch, I would have no patience for the things that irritate me. But I’m starting to see that even when you think you’ve found a person that is the best for you, it isn’t enough.
It’s been about two months since New Zealand came out of lockdown now- caarraazzyy! If I was smarter I would’ve written a diary entry everyday of lockdown in case a museum or kid in the future has to do a history project and then they […]