You are lucky, i’m half a bottle of red wine in and alone on a Friday night, and I’ve just started reading some rupi kaur poetry and I feel like I could do that, here it goes I thought you were loveI still think you […]
Category: mental health
Does reiki work?
You know how in movies the single female always turns to self help books and woo woo stuff as they turn 30 and they don’t have a man, and the whole audience is supposed to mock her? She normally goes to a book store, finds […]
TikTok does not heal childhood trauma
Like a lot of Gen Z and millennials, I am absolutely addicted to social media. Oh yes, it makes me impulse buy things, compare myself to my friends and give me an in-depth knowledge of the conspiracy theory that the Hillsong Church arranged the marriage […]
#daddyissues: How to get a boyfriend
I think if this is the blogpost to make you hate me, this might be it. If you have a great relationship with your dad, this is going to be the one that makes you think I’m ungrateful little bitch – or this could be […]
How to get a boyfriend: the fourth therapy session
“Esther, you’ve just listed things that you haven’t done well,” someone tells me at work. “I feel like you’re criticising yourself.” Soaring crashing music. A montage of scenes of me interacting with people flash before your eyes. It’s the time of the movie where the […]
How to get a boyfriend: the third therapy session
I had never realised that my mother was obsessed with the worry that I was going to be raped. After unexpectedly bursting into tears the week before, today we were going to do a deep dive into my mum, since so many of my negative […]
How To Get A Boyfriend: The Second Therapy Session
I’ve been trying to separate the ‘inner critic’ that’s telling me I’m uninteresting and not pretty from my own thoughts this week. My therapist (MT) tells me that I can’t keep thinking of it as true or as myself / my own voice, but as […]
How to get a boyfriend: the first therapy session
I felt a bit of imposter syndrome when I went to my first therapy session. Like I’m not that fucked up at the moment. Also, because time had passed since the break-in, I wasn’t even feeling that vulnerable about it anymore. Although to be honest, […]
Christmas 2021
What did I do for Christmas 2021? I: Woke up feeling fine and that I was fine with it being like just another day Had instant noodles for breakfast Scrolled on social media watching Youtube and tiktoks in my room by myself, seeing everyone else’s […]
Everyday is my day
What do I get up to in my days, weeks, where I have every waking minute to myself? Isn’t it super weird that we are so used to giving our time to other places, like work, friends, fam, significant others that when we get all […]