Hello!

I haven’t written in so long because my work got so busy late last year. I really do want to write more but I will try to make less promises to myself and then feel bad when I don’t make them. I know it’s only been around 6 months since we’ve last talked, but here’s how I’m going:

Highs:

• I’m doing well at my fulltime job hoorah hooray

• Getting Lychee was one of the best decisions in my life, wish I had done it sooner

Lychee is trusting me more each and every day. Honestly it is a long process but that is the thing about cats, and especially street cats who were scared of humans. My biggest wins are that she lets me kiss her, which the fosters couldn’t do and she doesn’t hide from visitors!

When I met her for the very first time, she hid behind a couch out of sight for 40 mins. Now she doesn’t run away when I get visitors, watches, follows the activity around and will normally let the visitor pat her once. I think that is such a HUGE step in confidence and I do believe it’s because of my empowering and loving parenting style.

• Less contact with my parents and seeing the benefits of therapy. Wish I had done it sooner

I don’t know why it took me 30 years to realise I have self esteem issues, and that the less time I spent with my parents the better I felt.  I just took my inner critic as the ‘truth’ and that my parents were a free dinner resource.

But it has cost me a lot in confidence, in angst over doubt and that fundamentally I am a good noodle.

• I’ve started going to the gym

I like the Body Combat Les Mills class, but not anything else. I was going to reformer pilates but it was breaking the bank, one class equals a week at Les Mills and two weeks at other gyms, PLUS the classes are so limited because of the limit of how many people can be in one class :/

I do like walking but I hate the cold and hills and I live in an area with a roaming dog problem which leads onto..:

• I bought a house

Did I tell you that I bought a house?? By myself! I’ve always wanted to since I was 18, so I have been saving for one even though I’ve always made a very average, and sometimes below average salary. This became a lowlight in 2023 when West Auckland flooded (although my house didn’t) and when I lived by myself and got burgled and spent hours feeling sorry for myself and spiralling into depression ahahahahhahahahahahah

Lows:

• Spent way too much time doomscrolling on tiktok

I am honestly addicted to my phone. I know I use it to distract myself constantly but tiktok has me in a headlock, it is so bad. When I have hours to do something else that is on my to-do list, like read a book or do a painting, I go back to scrolling on tiktok. I am chronically online 

• Have not spent much time on my business Tsrang Label, and spend my time daydreaming about what I want it to be instead

Related to my phone and tiktok addiction, whenever I have spare time I end up watching tiktoks instead of making them instead.

Making tiktoks, entertaining tiktoks, is so time consuming. It shames me regularly that I am a marketer that cannot stick to my own marketing plan.

• Still single

The apps aren’t for me and the streets aren’t either. Being single at 30 feels much worse than being single at 24.

• Still don’t have an ipad

I’ve been harping on to anyone who will listen that I really want an ipad. What I don’t want is to pay $700 for one when I have a mortgage.

In my head it will make it easier for me to write blogs on the train and I was going to get audio and ebooks on it. My brother let me borrow his kindle but… I can’t watch tiktoks on it which is not be a problem with.. An ipad….

• Haven’t figured out how to be the Carrie Bradshaw of Auckland a la career

The problem with having a blog is that it’s not a tiktok which is easier to promote. How tf do you promote a blog? I know I should be probably sharing excerpts from my blog on my Instagram or something but that’s hard to have it shared and seen by people outside of your network with a picture post and not a video.

In conclusion:

I am legitimately addicted to tiktok and its running my life :/