I’ve been catching up with a lot of friends recently- since I’ve moved out and told all my close friends, what normally follows is us catching up, because I can’t keep my love language to myself and ask if they want to spend time with me ahaha. I just can’t help it, once I talk to my friends online I start busting to talk to them in real life and leads me to plotting meals out. Last week I ate 6 out of 7 dinners out, so I’ve been feeling quite social.
What I’ve noticed is that although my friends are quite similar age to me, we are all in such different places in our lives. We all have such different wants, and how we want our lives to pan out. And it got me thinking- when did we get so different? Some of my friends are married, some of them have moved away from Auckland and are so happy with their decision. Some of them want to travel and some of them never want to leave home. I don’t know what it’s like to have a mortgage, or in laws, or extensive solo travel experience; likewise they don’t know what it’s like to live in a flat or be a bridesmaid. It’s just up to us to try describe the experiences to the other, and I’m sure we don’t do it justice.
I think 24 is an age that we all start angling our lives ourselves.
I’ve never seen my friends and I so different before- and I think it’s because we’ve always been in the same stage of life when there were very little options of differing paths you could be down. At age 18, we were either applying to uni or applying for jobs. That’s it. Or perhaps already had a job, or was not doing anything. No one I knew was doing a gap year or OE.
At age 21, all my friends were preoccupied with graduating, finding an internship/first job and the 21st birthday party. I knew exactly what they felt when they said they were stressed about finding a job with a new degree with no experience. I knew exactly what they meant when they talked about finding a dress that went with our robes, or lamenting about what to do with the 21st. That’s what we all were going through. There was not much difference.
But now at age 24, one of my friends can tell me she has no idea where she will be in the world this time next year while another tells me she’ll be here for at least the next 30 years thanks to a mortgage. I can go on about working a 9-5 office job and what comes with it to my friend who never wants one.
I know people always talk about how they want their lives to be outside the mould, not what everyone else is doing- I don’t know if it’s a millennial thing or if it happens with every generation when they’re mid 20s, but no one I know’s life is the same, even though we’ve grown up similarly. I don’t think we have any problems of being stuck in a rat race, because being a millennial- we just leave. I’m in awe that none of my friends are complacent – even if it’s something that I find scary, they will just do it.
What I also find buzzy is that some people want things that I desperately do not want, and can’t imagine wanting. For example, kids. Some people really want kids. Not a fibre of my being wants kids right now. I see babies and although I think they’re cute, I do not want to look after one. I don’t ever want to babysit. I don’t dislike kids, and I’ll try my hardest to look after them, but I feel more maternal towards animals than any baby could make me feel. I do want kids eventually, but at the moment I cannot imagine what wanting a baby would feel like. I’ve heard of women having their biological clocks ticking but I have never, ever come close to having baby fever. But I guess that it will change. I hope that it will change. I can sort of see how coming home to a family is appealing, and how cute babies are when they’re obsessed with their mum. But at the moment, I am totally fine coming home to adults and trying to get my new flat cat to be obsessed with me, and I am fine to coming home to adults and a cat for a very long time.
I guess my big question is – why are we so different? We’re from the same town, sometimes the same suburb, the same schooling, the same family dynamics and consume nearly the same content. And yet, we end up being so different. I shouldn’t be surprised to find out that we’re not robots and that every person is not the same (duh).
Obviously, I don’t have an answer. But it’s pretty cool to be at a point where I can see my friends’ lives changing from something basic (being a kid, studying) to something more meaningful, and doing things that they’ve always wanted to do. It’s so interesting to see what their passions are, and seeing milestones in life start to happen.
As for me, and the things I want- I believe my vision of my future is pretty cookie cutter. Well, maybe I think they’re cookie cutter and you don’t think they are?
Basically what I want to achieve in the next 5 years:
- buy a house. I’m going to do this. Watch me. But don’t watch me this financial year though haha
- travel Europe, Japan, Korea and a Pacific Island.
- Go to Queenstown and Wellington
- Up my social media and creating game majorly
- Earn monaaayyy
- Build some strong relationships with people outside of my family
Some of you might be like ‘this is so fucking basic Esther. You basically want a house like how everyone else does in Auckland, travel like how everyone I’ve ever spoken to, good friends and money’. Well, that’s literally all I want in life for the next few years. And you might find it bizarre that I want such mundane things, but that’s what I mean- our wants are so, so different.
What are the things you want in the next 5 years? Are my goals your goals too? Let me know. I’d love to compare life notes.