I want to get more in a routine for writing blogs to try post once a week. That being said I’ve been preoccupied with the following:
- Wedddiingg! I organised and went to my first hens night a few weekends ago! This meant the male strippers, club, dinner and me drinking too much alcohol L I really envy people who are able to drink, get drunk and go home and do cute shit like eat an entire pizza or make some wacky burger and then fall asleep until the morning and wake up with a hangover. Everytime I get drunk, I’m not hungry, get home and puke. It’s ridiculous that I’ve never like… not puked after getting drunk.
Anyway, the wedding is this weekend !!
- The week of the hen’s night… I GOT BURGLED -_______- Someone broke into my house, ransacked it and made off with laptops, computers and cash. I don’t think I should say the rest of the story so talk to me if you want to know more :/
- Also at the beginning of the hens night week, me and my friends that I wanted to move out with got accepted a house! I was actually able to move in from last weekend, but unfortunately I couldn’t. So now I am moving in this weekend after the wedding. I went on a Kmart shopping spree and I am quite excited.
- Work work werk werk werk
I’ve recently seen that the “5 Love Languages” is becoming popular again. If you don’t know what that is, it’s the theory that people show their love through 5 different ways, and understanding how your partner or loved ones show their love can ideally help relationships and how you can reciprocate in a way they value.
The 5 different ways most people show their love are:
- Acts of service: when people do stuff for you to show they love you. This is probably applicable to all POC parents who will yell at you all day night but cook and clean for you. Also applicable to people (lets face it, mostly men) who will spend hours fixing stuff for you like cars and electronics, but would never ever talk about feelings. That person in your life would probably appreciate if you spent hours making something for them over you buying them something expensive.
- Words of affirmation: these are the people who like saying “I love you/I trust you/I need you” and want to hear it back. For them, it’s tell me why you love me. Tell me what you love the most about me. Why do you need me.
- Physical affection: people who like being touched and use things like handholding, hugging, kissing to show their love
- Gifts: the more money or amount of gifts they spend on you, the more they love you
- Quality time: spending meaningful time together, no text interruptions or flaking. I imagine these sort of people love road trips.
For me, I think with mine is quality time. I would rather have someone want to spend a lot of time with me and never say I love you than someone who does constantly tell me that but cancels/flakes on me/is distracted by their phone when hanging out.
I definitely am quality time with my friends- I am constantly asking them to have dinner with me, keen to hang out, mention future plans and I rarely, rarely cancel. I guess I do rationalise that since I am spending so much time with them and showing them how much I enjoy their company, that they will see how much I love them.
But I think that I have another love language that I have just mentioned.
Yes. I love food. But I think that I also consider food a love language. Perhaps it could be classed as a ‘gift’ but it’s a very specific gift and sometimes you can’t buy it, and I don’t necessarily need quality time to think the person loves me if they give or make me food.
As I said, I show my love to the people around me by constantly arranging to be around food. This is in part because I love eating, but also because I like seeing that the people I love eat as well. Is that weird? Probably. If I really love you, I’ll even buy you food.
Because I love animals, I am constantly wanting to feed the ones that I like as a fasttrack to their heart. I may or may not have bought treats to pets to try bribe them to like me more.
With both pets and humans I use food to get them to love me, and when I get it back- it’s amazing. So amazing!
One of the most touching things that happened to me recently was that after my burglary, someone made me toast. As I was describing the burglary to them, they were like “… I’ll give you a bigger piece of toast.”
Honestly, that was so sweet. I wouldn’t have been happier if they spent 3 hours cleaning my car. Giving someone the bigger piece of food is like the ultimate sacrifice. On the weekend, someone bought a homemade cheesecake for us to eat after dinner (sidenote I went to a rundown Chinese restaurant that I would give like 4/5 stars to wowow) and I was like homg this is amazing I am in awe.
I show my love by giving people food or by wanting people to eat. I get extremely happy when people give food to me. I even show myself “self love” by constantly feeding myself food that I know I like and that’s what makes me happy (and fat).
Surely there’s something to be said here, because I am not the only one who uses food as love. Don’t countless parents and grandparents show their love by feeding their kids and grandkids? I know it’s a necessity to eat, so can’t I argue by feeding someone you’re essentially saying = I don’t want you to die = because I love you?
Anyway, that’s my theory. Maybe I’m confusing my love of food with conveying love. But somewhere in my love language of quality time, food is one of the features.
Thank you listening to my ted talk.