One of my pet peeves is when people refer to me as ‘lady’ or ‘woman’. Recently, a shop assistant told another lady “can you help that lady over there?” in reference to me. TO ME! NO! I am a young, frivolous, carefree GIRL! I am clutching onto my girlhood for as long as I can. However, I am nearly 24 so calling myself a girl won’t hack it any longer. I think the reason I like being called a girl rather than a woman is because I would rather be underestimated than overestimated- the title of ‘woman’ screams responsibility and assured. I don’t enjoy responsibility and I’m sure I can change.
However, having been a girl for all of my life, here are some lessons I’ve learned from being one.
- Crying will stop the argument, not win the battle. Fuck, you won’t even be asked to battle if you cry.
My weakness is that I cry first and then get angry later. The moment I burst into tears, the other person is normally shocked and will back down out of guilt of making me cry. This will then make them leave me alone for a while and make them more passive in dealing with me.
However, they will never see me seriously again. They think I can’t handle my shit. They see I’m weak, so why would they send me to to face important issues, or even be included in them. And I feel they lose faith in me, and they think I’m incompetent when I’m just releasing my emotion and hurt. But after I cry, thats when I get mad- thats when I want to start fighting. But I don’t get a chance to because the other person has started treating me apathetically. But I would be lying if I said I haven’t tried to use my tears to my advantage to make people feel sorry for me. It never works. It just makes people think I’m emotional and useless.
- Insecurity in unattractive
Telling people that your self conscious about something and have them reassure you it’s fine is ok once. twice is ok too. Anymore and they think you’re whiny, self centred but self hating as well.
- Everyone has their own agenda in your life. Everyone. And that agenda will always be their own.
Noone has what you want at heart. No one! People that do care for you want you to be their version of success.
I could say that my parents want the best for me. What they think is the best is married by 30, child on the way, and paying off a mortgage of a house- what they want. That is what they want to steer me towards, and any advice they give would be to do that. So they don’t think I should travel, move out or do anything to jeopardise my ability to pay off a mortgage.
Friends can tell you to take paths that stick to their own, or to their versions of success. Bosses and managers will always advise in the way to make me stay with them. And then there are people who tell me things that they think I want to hear, or tell me things so they can undermine me later or not compete with them. I only have veeerryy few people who I trust as the least selfish in their motives in my life. Like, 2. Lol
- There’s always a lot of people better, smarter and prettier than you
I thought I was really smart in high school. Then I went to university and there were hundreds of people who were smarter, more outgoing, more pretty and more successful than I was. I also then got a job and my god, some people are so good at their jobs. Those people normally have been doing their jobs for a while, but I still look really incompetent next to them. There is always someone more passionate, more hardworking, better at what I do than I am. And I don’t really feel the need to compete because work competitiveness does not give me satisfaction. It would feel awesome for people to be like “omg Esther is an expert she is the only person to go to for this” but working really hard to get there does not feel that great. And even then, someone will always be better than me. I don’t really know what I’m amazing at- I know I’m in the right field of this communications/marketing/media sector I’m in, but I’m not kick ass at anything. I think my strength is writing, but then noone reads my blog……………………….
- Those who post inspirational quotes normally aren’t doing anything with their lives
This isn’t really related to the point but if I see another pink ink splotch with gold or black cursive over it saying something like ” always follow your dreams” !! Where is everyone getting this font??? I want to burn it!!!!
Um but yeah, this is a meme too, but people who post inspirational quotes like they are some sort of social media prophet normally are the type who love mess and drama in real life and post these things in between falling outs. And I Am Not Interested Today!
- Time enjoyed is time well spent
This isn’t my quote lol but I don’t understand why so many people think that not hanging out with people, or not being productive means that they’ve wasted time. I can spend the entire morning and early afternoon doing my favourite thing (lying on my bed haha)
- The only people who will love you unconditionally is your family. Any boy that says that is infatuated and lying
- The truth is harder to tell than a lie
You know what’s hard? When someone asks me questions like “do you like me?” (have been asked this several times by women and girls in my life).
You know what’s even harder? Being able to say, to their face and while looking in their eyes, “no. I can’t stand you. I think you have a terrible personality, but you can’t change that, so I will always dislike you”I’ve never managed to do it so I white lie that away and always say yes ahahahaha. I don’t know if you’re supposed to ever tell them the truth?? I don’t want to make someone cry.
- 100 cheap things <10 expensive things
If I could take back things I did it would be the dollars I spent on useless shit. Clothes, food, accessories, things that have broken and I ended up buying the more expensive thing anyway and instead of buying a few cheap deals + real deal, I could’ve just bought the real deal.
- People will not say sorry if they don’t mean it, so I won’t either.
Sometimes people do rude things to me and I expect them to say sorry. And then they don’t, and thats when I know they meant for it to happen, or they think it’s my fault. And that makes me angry- I’m not going to be polite and say sorry and lose this dominance contest lol. I’m not going to be sorry about things that I have done that I don’t regret, and if I would do it again I would. If I said sorry every time I didn’t mean it but to keep the peace, I would always feel like I did myself dirty by always admitting I’m in the wrong- even if I think I am not!! And that is a no- no in my books. I am not a carpet. I will not be walked over. I will not let people walk all over me.
I think these are my top tips I’ve learnt from being a girl. I guess I have the rest of my life to be a woman now, and I don’t really like the thought of that haha. What are your lessons you’ve learnt, that have molded you as a girl/woman/human? Would love to hear from you all!