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Hello, hello.

How were all of you guys’ News Years? Mine was really uneventful. I went out for dinner and got super grouchy because it was raining and I was sticky and humid.

My actual Xmas I had oysters and stuff so that was pretty good. It looks like I didn’t take a picture.

I did manage to get out of Auckland which was nice.

Me in a place called Blue Lake in Rotorua


Before Xmas I hung out with my friend from work and I got a Big Mac for the first time in Years!!

When I ate this I was already full though, because before hand we had gone to a strawberry farm for icecream!

Haha we cute

Then back to her place for shisha which is so satisfying since I don’t smoke and I like blowing out smoke

Haha obviously from snapchat.

But lately I have been really not happy and social because my parents keep, keep, keep calling me fat.

It is true that since working full time, I have put on weight. I used to not eat 3 full meals a day, but now I have to or else I get hangry. Also, I’m sitting down all of the time. I can’t burn off the things I eat.

I am far from how I want to look, but still.. I’m not fat 🙁 I mean, look at the above pic. I’m not obese. But I’ve become on edge every time I eat around my parents because everything has become a comment about my weight. If I want to buy clothes, my Mum will say something about how I’m fat and can’t fit them. If we go out to eat, I’ve stopped talking so they don’t look at me while I eat.

It doesn’t help that my cousin from Hong Kong stalked me on FB and told her mum who told my mum that she thought I put on weight and that I got fat. Excuse me! My mum’s friends and relatives are so intrusive. I should block her.

As a result, I have been in a really bad mood and now really unconfident about the way I look as a whole. If you haven’t noticed, I rarely post full body pictures. It makes me really pissed off when I hear not only my parents constantly calling me fat, but how people are stalking me on facebook and thinking I’m fat too. And because I’m sad, I only eat more because I eat for comfort. Like I’m a total binge eater at times, where I will eat a shitload of carbs and be like D: what did I just do D:

I know it’s always people’s New Years resolutions to lose weight and stuff. This year I don’t have any resolutions because I already know what I want to achieve. I always know what I want to achieve.

But yeah, my mood is really sad at the moment. Also I have to go back to work in 4 days D: D: D:

I know I’m unhealthy and unfit. But I don’t like being called fat every day 🙁

Also you might have noticed that I’ve stopped blogging so much stuff lately. That’s because I got Vent lol! I’m NOT going to tell you what my Vent is. I might lie a lot in real life… but I never lie on the internet. I don’t like talking about my feelings to ANYONE so Vent has been helping me a bit.

I took some photos today that show more of my body 🙁 But now too insecure to do a face on one because I feel like everyone is going to look and judge about whether I am fat or not and I get enough of that.

I wear a lot of baggy tops because I’m so insecure about my belly now 🙁

I take pride in that my shorts are too big for me and I’ve had them for years.

So I’m not fat. I’m not fat. But it’s really hard when I’m the only one saying I’m not fat but everyone in my family is saying I am.

Oh well.

I’ll just eat more to feel better.

I’m eating this right now. This ice cream is so bomb (I’m really excited because I’ve never been able to use bomb before)!! It’s made out of coconut cream and doesn’t have milk. It’s sooooo niiiiccee.

Some ice cream I had last week from a blueberry farm.

I’m just so sad. I’ll just keep looking at this pic I took of myself today.

Coz I’m a catfish hahahaha

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