I’m on the bus right now with nothing to do and I really hope this bus is taking me to the right place lolol. I’m about to have dessert with my friends.
Anyway, I’ve been working full time for a few months now, and I’ve come to a conclusion about myself that I already suspected:
I suck at talking to women.
I am not good at talking to women.
Girls are okay. If you describe yourself as a girl, we’re going to get along fine. If you’re a male, we’re going to get alone great. If you’re Asian and a woman, that is fine also.
But women are soooo intimidating to me. I feel like to be friends with a woman, you have to make hours of small talk that you both approve of before you can even think about being friends. And I suck at small talk. I like getting to the point of things, I like hearing stories and complaining. I eat junk food and am addicted to TV shows and popular culture, girls and boys have a lot in common with me. But women… Don’t. I don’t know what to say in response to small talk. I don’t run a household, I don’t have a partner and I don’t eat healthy or exercise and I don’t understand their motivations and they don’t understand mine either.
I want to be able to contribute in conversations but I really have nothing to say. Women get along so easily with another with small talk, and I always feel like I am awkward, tense and quiet and say the wrong thing.
I don’t really have any experiences with adults talking to me in my life other than teachers and my parents. My parents friends and my adult relatives all talked amongst themselves and when they talk to me it’s mostly about school, how I look pretty (being polite) and stuff, because that is the proper Chinese way. So now that I am starting out in the proper adult workforce, I feel like I can’t interact with those who are full fledged adults.
The day I can though, means that I’ve become a real adult.
But for now I feel like it makes me seem really juvenile and goes against me when I can’t make conversation with people at my work when people always treat those who get along with them better.
And holy hell this bus is taking forever. I want to go to Burger King and get 10 chicken nuggets for $3. I can’t wait lol