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You know how in stories, the characters sometimes say stuff like “I’ll never forget what …. said to me for the rest of my life?” Like when they have a profound quote that they’ll never forget? Sort of like how Forrest Gump says “my momma says life is like a box of chocolates”?

I never thought that was real. Like… do you have any profound quotes that haunt your mind? My grandparents and parents don’t even speak English, so even if they told me a profound quote in Chinese, which they probably have, I wouldn’t understand it.

But I realise that I actually do have some phrases burnt into my mind. I’m watching The Affair which is a TV show with good reviews right now, and it’s about cheating. And I remember my first profound quote that my Creative Writing teacher in the States said.

She said: “You will be surprised how many married people are in affairs. It’s very common.”

I know. That doesn’t seem very meaningful. But it’s interesting to me, because apparently it’s very common. Why don’t they get divorced then? Are they in love? Why are they in an affair, can they not say no to the sex, the adrenaline, the attraction and the rush of being “in love”?

Right now, I would be overjoyed to be married. To find someone who found perfect enough to want to spend the rest of my life with? That would be fun!

But imagine when you’re like 40 and have kids and your partner gets ugly. I’m not saying I would cheat, but I think I could understand why. Cheating isn’t illegal, it’s just morally wrong, and everyone has different morals. I could see the appeal, when you find it fun and exciting.

On the other hand, I don’t know why the other partner doesn’t know, or stays.

I’m the sort of person who loves to find out other people’s secrets. I have gone through my parents things more times than I can count when they go out. I check my brother’s phones and even have a peek at their fb messages to see what they’re up to if I have the chance. It’s not like a “IM GOING TO CHECK YOUR PHONE AND CALL YOU OUT ON THINGS” but more like a “this is fun and I want to see if you have any secrets and what you’re like with your friends”.  I once was logged in my friend’s facebook, and I searched up my name in all her private messages to see if she ever talked about me badly. Yeah, I’m to that extent. If I had a family, my curiosity would be so high. I would be the mother that goes through all my kids things, gets into their email and facebook just to see what they’re doing somehow, take their phones when they are showering to read their messages. So I think if I had a husband, there is no way I would not know. I would be snooping through everything.

My next profound quote was when I was sitting by a potter on the plane… his name was like Lee something. I’m sorry, Lee something, I forget.

Anyway, he said he had been married twice, and he was like to me: “you’ll find out that in this world there are a lot of people to fall in love with”.

Humans are so complicated… I don’t know, but right now, when I fall in love, I find that one is enough and I get immensely jealous of competition. I hope I never experience falling in love with someone when I am tied to another, and loving two people at once, or having the misfortune of loving someone who does.

But right now, let’s concentrate on finding at least one person, shall we Esther? hahahaahooooboooohoooooimsoalone

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