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Hello.I actually have a lot of things I want to write. Unfortunately, I had a lot of things that I didn’t want to write that I had to do first. And I still have things that I really should be writing and I really feel guilty typing this when I should be typing my assignments!

And also let me be a bit truthful-

I’m really hungover D: D: D:

It’s 4:44pm (no lie) and my little nagging headache has not really gone away and my stomach is like :/ :/ :/. I woke up at about 6am in my friends house and lay there debating whether I should go and throw up or not, and whether it would make too much noise :/

This is so gross, but the one thing I can do cleanly is throw up hahahah. I think I’ve become really good at judging throw ups, and making them happen. I promise I will be over the toilet and not lose control and projectile vomit on myself. I normally throw up in the hangover stage and so I’m sober, and can think logically. I did a lot of throwing up in the States, morning sickness was a bitch.

Yeah. Morning sickness. I would throw up nearly every morning! Because I was pregnant. Not because I drank like a fish and couldn’t really handle it. Not because my mentality of “the stronger the drink, the less I have to drink it to get drunk”  doesn’t work when in drinking games the aim is to keep drinking. Not because I mix drinks really, really strongly.

When I was in Oswego, I got really really sick when autumn or ~fall~ kicked in. I swear I had bronchitis. I couldn’t talk without coughing up a storm afterwards and I would have coughing attacks in the night. Me and my neighbours would take shots of Nyquil together, and I took Nyquil in the day once without knowing that it was a night medicine (shit like this got Americans thinking I was stupid, but… there’s no Nyquil in New Zealand okay, how the fuck was I supposed to know) and was totally buzzing out while trying to write my paper lolol.

My throat was sooo sore since I kept coughing. And also, I kept…. mmm… *whispers* trying to smoke. All of my close friends in the States were smokers, and their friends had some smoking equipment too, like e cigs. And I really, really wanted to learn how to smoke and inhale properly. Give me another semester in Oswego and I think I would have been a smoker. So I would be like “can I try?” since I am easily influenced or they’d be like “do you want to try?” and try to teach me. Cigars, regular cigarettes, e cigs, hookah (shisha) and the little w word I’ve endeavoured now! I never got the hang of it though, I never smoked anything properly. My New Zealand friends will be surprised.  But don’t you dare try! Never smoke! AND NEVER TELL MY PARENTS!!

But the point is, from coughing from sickness and then burning my throat and then coughing even more from the attempts at hooliganism, it ripped my throat up. And because I would drink a lot too, I would throw up in the mornings when I was hungover and scratch my throat even more.

So one of my worst lows was on my knees on this gross school bathroom floor, wondering how many girls have shat in this toilet and throwing up clear liquid (yay vodka BLLLEEURRGHHH) and my tears like dripping into the toilet water since gag reflex normally triggers my tear reflex too, although I’m not sad. It’s so weird, to be physically crying  but feeling like -____- haha. So I’m having a good wretch and vomitng and spitting vomit from my mouth and my throat is killing me when the clear liquid I’ve been throwing up starts coming up stained reeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddddddisshhh brroowwwnnnn rrreeddddddd

yoooooooo rock botttttooommmm or whhaattt I’m throwing up blood and I was literally purposely trying to destroy my body.

And because of this I did a huge turnaround and stopped trying to smoke and drink and ate kale and fish the remainder of my time in the States.

Of fucking course not. I did not feel any guilt or fear, more like, huh, and continued doing this so I kept throwing up stained blood vomit for the remainder of the week until I started drinking a little bit less and started taking a cocktail of medicines to stop myself from coughing.  I went to the Health Centre and they told me I was allergic to Oswego, and prescribed me antihistimines which I did not fill because allergies?? Dude, I would cough so much I thought I was coughing up my throat lining and it would not stop I was really really sick and I don’t know how I managed to make friends because all I did was cover my mouth and cough. But the thing is, I never gave it to any one, and I WebMDed and wikipediad bronchitis and I think I fit all the symptoms.

But then I think it was allergies too a bit since when I went to my roommates town for Thanksgiving and when I went to Long Island I stopped coughing, and when I came back to the school after Thanksgiving, I would start coughing again.

So I’ve managed to make this story really long, but what I wanted to say was that I threw up at 6:30 am today, and my stomach kept making weird ass noises and I had a good sleep in my friends bed to about 9am and my stomach felt better but I felt like a zombie and I came home and took a shower and then I walked to get fried chicken and I thought it would make me feel better but it didnt really and I really want to take a nap but it is against my lifestyle choices to take naps because I always say “grown adults should never take naps, it’s unhealthy, we should be able to function a full day without falling asleep in the middle of it!” and naps make me feel horrible and I am not a hypocrite.

Also, I had eaten a creamy mayo burger from Burger King in town when I was drunk and so that was cool that I got to eat it but didn’t need to absorb its fats, although it didn’t taste as nice coming up. I swear I saw like mayo or something white when I was vomming it up, although that might be impossible since isn’t everything supposed to mix in your stomach?

And doesn’t this make you want to kiss me. Oh so sexy!

Zzzzzzz someone make me tea because I have drank all mine and let me lie my head on you and snuggle…..you don’t even need to feel sorry for me, you can judge me all you want…. that’s one thing,I don’t feel sorry for people with hangovers or who throw up… it’s like you bought this onto yourself, it’s your own fault! You wanted this to happen! I don’t feel sorry for myself at all, I am so trashtastic. So much class!

But my friend is nice, she called a “poor thing” after I was done throwing up and even rubbed my back. I will accept your pity, although I am not worthy. I’m the mean one who says “shhhaaammmeee” if the situation was reversed and provide a soundtrack of my giggles to accompany your throwing up noises #sonaice #toughlove #whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustronger #tigerparenting

Here are some nice pictures from last night with my frrraaannnddss, including Quarterliner, whose birthday it was! Happy Birthday Mariska! Was nice seeing you!!!

I hope this improves my online brand and reputation after this gross post.

Me and my nice friend Jess who was the one who called me a poor thing and rubbed my back and said I must be feeling horrible. We looking quite cute. You wish you were lucky enough to have me throwing up on you because I look like this all the time, even at 6:30am!

Not messy haired, bits of black eyeliner still clinging onto my eyes and stumbling to the bathroom in a gigantic red mens AUT tshirt, nope that aint me

It’s Brittney! And I have some weird shadow things going on in my face

And then I saw Mariska for a couple of minutes:

Taken on Mariska’s phone! Happy birthdayyyy!!!!

Eeurgh my parents are cooking food and the smell…its like I’m hungry but I dont’t want to eat because I want to gag at the smell of food.

But does this post make me seem really badass?  And the pictures make me look skinny!!! I don’t even know how!! I guess because you can’t see my stomach hehehe. Do you like my dress? It was only $5! #cheap. And I didnt pay any door entries even though it was saturday bc me and my friends are hunnies! #cheap #arrogant #butfirstletmetakeaselfie

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