So it is the end of the first week of university! Nothing exciting happened tbh. I didn’t get as much free stuff as I would have liked haha.
Although some things are bothering me immensely, like things not being sent. Like I hate I can’t track emails and packages and letters. Because I know they’re all sent but I don’t know where they are! It’s maddening. Some transport fairy is not happy with me.
I have been eating junk again -_________________- I tried not to, but it was so hard! It’s SO HARD! On the first day, I ate fried chicken and chips, or fries to all my lovely Americans. On Wednesday I had 5 hours of back to back class and I was STARVING. I was so moody. Normally I can be quite happy but this, I have never been like, wow, I am moody today, I want to stop but I can’t. So straight after my last lecture I ran to Burger King and had a BBQ ranch burger, fries and a chocolate sundae -_____________- I felt so much happier it was so weird! Thursday I splurged and got katsu chicken which is like fried chicken sushi for like $8.70. Nomnomnomnomnomnom!
What I have noticed is that I’m a lot calmer and confident now? I don’t even know why! I think its because I know myself a lot better now, and I know what I can do and what I can’t, and I’m more confident in myself because I have snapchat where I can exercise my vanity and force people to look at it haha. It wasn’t really, it was because my ex was cool and made me feel very pretty and cute and since he was a cutiepie it must have some sort of truth in it! //////// oh dear, I’m so embarrassed to say that about myself! But I’m cute right? OH MY GOD I’m so embarrassed I’m sorry hahahaha
I don’t know, like can I write essays and shit? of course I can. Can I go to classes and make new friends? Of course I can, and if I don’t it’s not a big deal. What I learnt in America is that if you smile and put out a positive and bubbly energy people will attract to you. Well bubbly for me, since that’s my personality, but you can just be friendly and then people will just magnetise to you.
I guess I could feel lonely, since I’m not talking to someone 24/7 like I used to in the States, but it’s impossible to do that here so I don’t feel lonely. I have friends… and this is going to sound so bad… but I have Internet….
However my dreams are really bad >:/ even though I don’t think about it in daytime, I unconsciously start thinking about it when I’m going to sleep. This is one thing I am not liking right now. I have this BAD habit of where I wake up at around 8/9 am, and then go back to sleep to about 11. I’ve had this habit for a long time, since I used to wake up for school at 8, and then when I went to uni my brothers would go to school at 8 and wake me up, then my roommate was normally up at 8, and then my ex was up at about 8/9. But I would fall back asleep because I’m a lazy poo and also I normally had trouble falling asleep the night before. As a result, I wake up around that time and I’m like out of it, I’m so sleepy. Like I’m only awake because of habit, not because I’m not still in dream land. I’m like literally drifting, dozing. I don’t really remember what I do in this time- most times I check my phone and then go back to sleep. However, this has now become DANGER ZONE. Because this is the time I normally think about my ex like ‘boohoo I remember when I used to snuggle with him and he would bring me coffee’ but I’m like totally zzzz ing haha. And because of that, I go straight back to sleep with a vivid dream because its not a deep sleep about leaving the States all over again, sometimes my friends are there, sometimes his friends are there. And I wake up totally not happy.
But that is the only blip in my calm, peaceful existence right now. I’m going to be calm, collected, smooth, and fuss free,
Until this time next week of course. I feel like I have no idea how to start any of my assignments haha.
I’m going to try update maybe twice a week at the minimum, because I need writing exercise and there is nothing I like talking about more than me yay.