If you haven’t noticed, I really like wearing makeup and dresses. I really like being made to feel like a princess or a fairy. What I hope you all still notice is that it doesn’t make me any less of a feminist.
My ex said that I was a lipstick feminist, and although it’s totally ironic that a boy told me what I was, I think I am. Because I am sick of the assumption that because I do all this stuff that I don’t know anything about feminism and that I’m just conforming to the male gaze and furthering patriarchy.
What the fuck.
So not only am I going to be judged by men, but by women too by my physical appearance? That is what a system patriarchy taught us. I am a feminist who wants equality. I have the right to wear whatever I want to wear just like any guy. I do not hate shaving my legs. I do not hate spending 20 minutes each day doing my makeup. I do not hate wearing high heels that give me blisters. I do not hate wearing dresses that mean I have to sit weirdly. I do not hate wearing a bra. Guess what?
I fucking love it.
If you don’t like it, then don’t do it. I’m not going to judge you.
So don’t tell me that I’m any less against misogyny just because of what I wear and when I say things like I don’t hate men.
I don’t hate men. I don’t. I hate the misogyny. I hate the discrimination and stereotypes and the consequences it has on my gender. I hate the rape culture, I hate the pay gap, I hate how domestic violence is so common, I hate how I don’t feel safe walking anywhere at night, I hate having guys make obscene gestures out of their cars at me, I hate how my mother expects me to clean and be elegant and cook and pop out kids.
Because if I hated men, wouldn’t I be grouping the entire gender together and thinking lesser of them?? Wouldn’t I be doing the exact same thing to them? I’m sick of immature statements of I’m right you’re wrong about feminism. Excuse me. Tracking the tumblr tag of feminism doesn’t make you more of a feminist than I am. I’m so sick of girls thinking that tumblr is the best and their only source of feminism. It’s got excellent material but go read a book!
I personally think that my first sentence doesn’t say I’m a weak little flower at all. I love makeup, and I love lipstick. And you know what? Guys hate lipstick. They don’t like kissing it. So by me wearing it, I personally couldn’t give a poo whether my lips look kissable or not. I think I look good when my lips are magenta pink. And if a guy does want to kiss me, he’ll have marks everywhere that a girl loves him and that it is my mark and he’s proud to show it off. It’s like a stamp of ownership, how fucking dominant and possessive can you get? And no one has the right to talk down about how I like makeup, because I am doing it for myself, not for the bros. Attack misogyny, don’t attack girls. I feel empowered with makeup. And I’m not giving up this feeling of empowerment. I saw this poem where it said men hearts can flutter with a flick of an eyeliner. If that’s not the easiest way to hold power over men than I don’t know what is. Those articles ’10 Things Guys Hate’? A product of misogyny, throw it away. They all say they hate brightly coloured lips and strong makeup or something. They just don’t want girls to look like they have a personality, just want them to be a plain jane they can trust to follow them and control. Whatever. Guys like that are just scared of girls where they feel express themselves and have a strong personality as seen in their face. It’s actually insulting for you to tell me that I’m wearing makeup just to look good for guys. Excuse me. If I want my eyelids to sparkle then I can, okay? For me it is my shield to face the world, but that’s a different story. You’re gonna have to pry my foundation off my cold dead hands, and what is amazing is that I’m probably going to be wearing makeup at my funeral because they put makeup on corpses so I’m going to rot with makeup on me anyway. HA.
Shaving. Hairy things are boys. I don’t want to look like a boy. I don’t want to be a boy. I never want to be a boy. Being a girl is the best 3 out of 4 weeks of the month. I want to have long hair. I want to paint my nails. I want to do everything a boy isn’t because my worst fear is to be mistaken for a boy. But if I liked things that are stereotyped to boys too then I should be allowed just as boys should be allowed to do things that girls are stereotyped to do. Gender roles are a product of patriarchy and I don’t think they’re very necessary at all. So I’m going to look my version of pretty while being lazy and have a potty mouth. And no one should think I’m unladylike if I do. I mean, I don’t look down at a person at all if I see them cry, boy or girl. It shouldn’t be labelled emasculating. They’re just upset, they’re crying. Yes, I act like a stereotyped girl because I am attracted to that behaviour. It wasn’t forced on me, I never got dolls, my mother hates me wearing makeup and heels, people comment about how I don’t need to put on makeup. I just like the behaviour. Gender roles are harmful, not only because it breeds expectations of how all people act, but breeds judgement if they conform or rebel.
And come on. Princess, mermaid, fairy? Did I say servant girl? Did I say delicate flower? When I say I want to be treated like a princess, I mean I want to be revered and respected. I want to feel special and for the boy to do whatever I want. A princess is a ruler! A mermaid is a creature that leads men to death! A fairy is an uncontrollable little sprite who dances on flowers and drinks nectar and has magic to do whatever they want! Those are things I wouldn’t mind being. I am not a delicate flower who needs shielding and protecting and nurturing and totally reliant on a man. I don’t want to feel weak in a relationship. I just want my man to make me feel special and strong :). Feminism is about equality, not domination. I don’t want to be better than boys. I want to be the same.
Yes, maybe I’m not so loud in real life about feminism but I will say all of this and stand by my beliefs. But I don’t see the point in making everyone listen to it if they don’t want to. Feminism is so demonised now, and I hate how it is. But it’s hard for me to not demonise it too when people talk my ear off about how much they hate men and about their surface feminism when I think feminism should really be concentrated about the treatment of women. I cannot listen to generalisations of a gender about petty things. Like how much I hate listening to men call girls bitchy, I don’t want to hear about how boys are horrible pigs because they lead girls on. Both genders do all those things. I want to talk about how SOME boys are horrible because they think that girls are not equal at all to them and think it’s okay to hurt a girl because they know a girl can’t physically hurt them back and get off on the power trip, or how they plan on getting some action non consentually. I don’t hate the boys who open doors for me, or have given me false hints about liking me. I hate the boys who want to get me alone so they can pounce. I hate the boys that I know will rape me the first second they get me alone. I hate it when my guy friend tells me and my girl friend that we shouldn’t get a particular laptop because “it’s too big for girls”. I don’t hate him. I hate the system and the beliefs!
So this picture pretty much sums up all that I’ve been trying to say. So don’t call me vapid, ditzy and roll your eyes at me when I go on about how much I love nice boys and wear teeny tiny skirts and act cute. Yeah there are girls who do what I do for the boys purely, but I really don’t think anyone is in a position to look down on anyone, and shouldn’t want to. No one likes being lectured, why else did I make this post haha.