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So at the moment I am sitting in the library of my university because I have a 3 hour gap, and my friends I normally have this gap with are at a meeting or sick at home. So sitting/hiding here in a artificially lit room on a table with a guy with headphones opposite me who has had some salad and two others fussing over maths. There is a seperator behind me so no one can see what I am seeing on my laptop, and I look out the window to see construction workers working on a building joined to the library. I have just finished my teryiyaki chicken sushi and I wish I had Subway instead because I am still hungry 🙁

I went out on Saturday night and this is the only time (Monday afternoon) where I can actually sit and reflect about it. Omg, my friend showed me the vid he took of me on his phone and it is soooooo embarrassing. If that was only a few second snippet of what I was like, I would’ve hated being with me for hours!

Anyway, Saturday I went to my friend Brittney’s house to prepare. You see, my parents don’t let me go clubbing. Sleepovers however! So I always go to someone’s house looking like shit and get ready and drunk there haha!

This is Brittney the beautiful baby haha!She couldn’t drink that much after a bad experience of vodka!

I, on the other hand…

See those bottles on the table? By the end of it there were 5 empty drinks there. I had drunken 5 8% vodka and raspberries, 1 midori and lemonade and later, a non existant sip of fruit juice and gin haha.
And considering I am only 4’11, I think that is pretty heavy weight of me. I was drunk. Not tipsy, and not so destroyed I was crawling on the floor, but good old drunk.. well I would be soon haha!

At this time I was actually thinking about taking pictures to blog but was getting frustrated because all the photos I took were blurry! I think this is the first time where my camera has actually been my eyes, as you will see when you read on!

A clearer attempt.. the alcohol hadn’t yet gone to my brain… this was about 9pm?

I am looking quite refined there but I remember looking in the mirror and thinking how huge my smile was and how I needed to contain it…

Quick photo before I left 🙂 :

So then Brittney’s mum drove us to town:

Now let’s put our photography breakdown analysing hats on, because a picture tells a million words. In the car I was a bit disorientated. I could not follow any of the conversation between Brittney and her mother.. I heard the voices but the second they said the sentence and the words I forgot them. I was repeatedly smiling to myself because I was excited and drunk, and very happy about it. In here, I wanted to take a picture of myself. This captures the night, the out of focus photo represents my blurry mind and the way my mouth is not in the frame speaks of how I was annoyed at my smile and didn’t like it, even though this was not a conscious effort to get cut my mouth off haha..

This also represents how out of focus I was as well.. I couldn’t hold the camera still and we were following the bright lights, because the light always beckons, that enticing thing. God, I sound drunk now! A good reflection of what I was seeing in my swaying state, unable to concentrate on anything!

I think this is such a professional photo! Look at me, trying to take a selfie in the back seat and moving so much that the lights in the background merge into my head and everything is fading. What can I say, I dream of bright lights and the city, and this looks like an accurate photograph!

I met my friend at his cafe and then went to a uni friend’s apartment where I met him and all his flatmates and their friends. I won’t post their photos and mention their names because I don’t know if I would be comfortable seeing my face and my photos on the internet after only meeting them once if I was in their shoes, so I won’t!

I wish I lived in the city! But it’s too expensive! If I lived in the city, I could have walked home in this gap and chilled, and wake up only an hour before my lecture, instead of sitting here in the library being downbuzz and the salad headphone guy and the maths people leaving me.

I would love to be able to decorate my room and be messy and shit.Not that I don’t do that now, but maybe I would put more effort into it.. Haha my smile was so wide and this photo does not show that. I look like the sober one! But everyone else would beg to differ… I was at the climax of my drunkeness… the alcohol had swum up to my brain now!

It’s all a blurrrr!
Nobody else could tell, but at this point of the night, which was about midnight, I actually got a bit sad, because I was in this apartment thinking about how I have to hide the fact that I am going clubbing and at some guy’s apartment from my parents, and how disappointed they would be and how unfair that is for me because everyone else’s parents would be fine with it, and yet mine have to blow everything out of proportion, and if they knew I would probably be locked in my house, and then I thought how I was pretty much locked anyway. Then I started thinking about whether they would disown me and how I would be able to live in an apartment like this, and how what I think is fun is being as far away from my family’s viewpoints as possible, but I don’t want to be disowned, and how if anyone else went clubbing their parents would actually know and help them, and if mine did, I would probably end up standing in the garden with my clothes and things on the ground, verbally abusing my parents in Cantonese while the door is locked and absolutely destroying the property before and throwing shit at the house and hopping in someone’s car and driving away and I would actually be happy.

I watched a documentary called ‘Banana in a Nutshell’ by Roseanne Liang which was about a Kiwi Chinese who was going to marry a white guy. Two quotes stood out:

Her older sister said that it was like as if the parents had taken their traditional values, and because they were in a new country, they tried to establish it with their family to retain that tie to their culture, and even if the values have changed back in their country, they still enforced it, and as a result, the family values are “fossilized” and archaic for both cultures, yet they, and probably everyone else whose parents are migrants from very traditional societies, have parents that are overreactive and old fashioned.

Another was her fiance saying that their dad was like a king who had to guard the princesses (her) and anyone who wanted to take them away had to past tests.
Well, I think it is more accurate to say that the father is actually the dragon that protects the turrent and the princess. Sure, he is “protecting” her, but he is still the monster that is stopping the princess from living her life and making friends. And in my case, I love defying the dragon, and would encourage my prince to slay him before I did it myself.

Because I was thinking about how if I was allowed to go out all the time (not that I was allowed this time) I would have a lot more friends, because I just made about 5 haha.

I am a depressing drunk, amirite?
But algood, they tell me I was the life of the party even though I pulled one of the girl’s curtains down… And I am being maniacally over the top and happy and giggly in the video haha!

Following the boys to another club.. we ended up in a gay club where there were epic smoke machines and strobe lights and heaps of people and creepy people who liked to touch and lots of predictably, gay people making out. Haha normally I would be like “oh my god that’s so cute, go for it, don’t let anyone hold you down” if they had done it in real life, but this is a club, and no matter what sexuality you are, getting dirty on the dancefloor is not romantic or classy, sorry 😛

Another blurry shot. The boy in the stripes was called Ben and I knew that but I kept calling the one in the maroon jeans Ben even though his name was Shane and then I called Shane Shaun omg. Sorry SHANE and BEN! And I said I wouldn’t name names but I did but all the pictures I took of them were blurry anyway because I couldn’t hold the camera still for my life haha!

And oh. some fucktards followed us from Family (the gay bar) and one of them was actually nuts. He was being so verbally abusive, swearing and picking a fight with anyone who talked to him.
He started going on about how he couldn’t deal with drunk bitches at 3am when we were in McDs and some girl moved away from him and me and Shane defended the girl and then he was like to me: ‘especially bitches like you’

Aaaahhh fuck you!

And then he started going on about how he would cuff a 4″2 chick to the fucking ground etc etc. Clap clap, he was so red and an angry drunk going about how he was doing a postgrad in economics or something. What a cool guy, following some 18 year olds who he didn’t know that he met in a gay bar to McDonalds. There is a reason why you have to go to town with only one buddy, you ugly dickwad. Your coolometer has just shot up when even drunk 18 year old girls like me look down on you and think you are pathetic. I see why alcohol is dangerous for some people. He is lucky I didn’t know him or his name or else I would have torn him apart in this blog. So ugly! So shameful! Just so PATHETIC. Like an angry talking pimple, he was.

We chilled in my friend’s cafe for about half an hour at 4pm before calling a taxi because we live in sort of the same area (we went to the same high school, after all)

Last shot to prove we got back safely! I actually don’t know if I took this before or after I went out, but I am thnking after because my hair is down, and I went out with my hair up.. but idk..

This was taken definitely when we came back!

Haha even I didn’t know what I was doing!

And then got to sleep for about 3 or 4 hours before I had to go home and get ready for work after my “sleepover”. Glasses because my eyes were too sleepy and I cbf putting them on again when I had just worn them for an entire night and I just cbf’ed!

Don’t I look like a nerdy good girl! In reality my stomach was still feeling upset after all the liquid I had consumed and the thought of drinking anything with vodka undertones made me want to heave, and I was sooo tired and weird feeling and not too happy. Maybe I was hungover, but I didn’t have a headache. You can see this because my lipstick is smudged haha.

I was surprised at my resilience at being able to drag myself to work without a peep because
a) I would be in a lot of trouble if I didn’t and
b) no one was allowed to know WHY I wasn’t feeling 100%

But when I actually got to work I perked up a lot thanks to my workmate and had a nice big mac combo at my break haha! <3 mcds 🙂

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